anxiety

In my fears I see the walls closing in, the influences of all that strengthens me, brings me down, like a weight that is laid across my chest,  I am experiencing the stress from all sides, I see no platform to step on. Indeed you are with me yet I feel no comfort.  I wandered whether you have turned from me and let my enemies consume me, I stand out in the open like a sheep in the midst of wolves, waiting to devour my flesh. Your delivering hands, I know, hovers around me but moves slowly as a snail. Then I remembered how desperately I wanted to regain control of my fears. I rather go at it and cause the other party harm, smite my enemies with a rod and satisfy my flesh for it yearns for it. Besides, I am my father's son, born in the generations of those that seeks blood and quench every fire with a fist. Nonetheless,  destruction comes in and seals my faith.  I will surely sow a seed and reaps tenfold of what I cultivated.  Death is the man that takes vengeance for his hands is forever stained in blood.  I cannot soil my soul with tears around my enemies, what if they see that, won't they mock and laugh me to scorn? For I am weary and burdened by the ways of the wicked. Won't you let me in on your plan to destroy the wicked? Who robs the blind and poor, and rapes the helpless,  who shuns the widow and steals bread from the fatherless? Then I will be appeased,  then I can sleep well for the Deliverer is at work.  But such ways are not your ways,  for you are not man, nor are you vindictive but forever a Restorer,  your strange work are reserved only for judgements for the unrighteous. Yet you give comfort and peace for those who love you. Help me not to bring shame to your Name rather help me to dispel my fears by laying it at Your altar and to wait on Your promises, for You O Lord are just.

.